1. Outrageousness, anyway, should not be outlawed; pantomime – as a midwinter antidote to cold, dark nights – has deeply ebullient roots in ancient japes and jollities.

2. Glenys Kinnock leads the jollities backed by a band of local musicians Headlines Six to eight devices defused at Stormont after hitman stormed building Sleazy Labour‘s 2m raid on council tax funds Police question Rooney over nightclub fight Motorist is beaten to death, eight hurt as crazed man rampages BA to review uniform policy after cross ban row Baby fights for life after hot water pipes burst above cot Veil row teaching assistant is sacked Brown joins tax attack on Chelsea tractors Shock as estate agent describes property with honesty Paedophile jailed for sex offences against boy, 12 Blair warns of SNP victory ‘nightmare‘ Hip surgery patients may have to sign weight–loss contract Jail for ‘rubbish‘ thief who filmed himself NEWS HOMEPAGE She is about to put her left leg in – prior to taking her left leg out – and at any moment she will shake it all about.